For starters, I love my life. It might have some problems sometimes, but it’s nothing so bad I will start saying it sucks etc.
Anyway, lately I’m really exausted by events/not events. To tell you the truth, I was looking forward to the day I’d finally start ranting about last happenings graciously joined with previous ones.
Sometimes I feel like I’m too patient, and this doesn’t do me any good. Some other times I’m glad I am, and I’ve got a nice, diplomatic attitude toward things.
Fact is, when “things” aren’t people, my patience gradually goes astray, and I’m not used to rant too much, expecially about things that really strike me, so I usually implode in silence.
If you look at the events one by one, not much happened.But if you join ‘em all together in a chain of small/medium sized misfortunes, you’ve got a not-so-happy Keishiro, full of crappy moodswings, worried, looking forward for a future he sees so far away sometimes…
My body is also not co-operating, but that’s no news. If “mens sana in corpore sano” would be a true motto, I’d be absolutely BATSHIT CRAZY. Right now, I can’t even stand up.
I generally can take it all, and more than this. Future sliding away? I’ll just chase it, or wait. Things worry me? I’ll just secure ‘em. Things make me sad? I’ll just try and make ‘em better, or see the good side of ‘em, or get rid of ‘em. Acting strange or hysterical? A good dose of logic thinking for a couple of hours will fix it for good. Health is not exactely great? No news. That’s how I usually act. But lately I’m starting to lose a bit of that strenght.
Being with friends luckily makes it all better. I’m really getting stir-crazy, I’ve been “alone” (I’m never *really* alone but, you know what I mean, right?) for too much time in a row. I’m not made for it, I’m definitely not made for it.
I promised to myself I wouldn’t let this one more health breakdown spoil my mood, but I obviously failed at it, so i tought I’d better try to steam off.
I have a couple of wishes I’ll hold safe and silent. They aren’t anything so big and impossible, so I hope sometimes they will just happen, and pour some light here and there. I’m a lucky guy, so it’s usually that way, if what I really wish is possible, it happens (that’s why I should be more CAREFUL about what I wish for, sometimes). I hope I didn’t lose that “gift”.