Being observant and knowing a lot of non-verbal communication and micro-expressions and shit, is the essence itself of “communicate and perceive everything you really didn’t want to say and know”. It’s an exhausting training towards being mentally open, and a powerful blow against the linear concept of “trust”.
It opens a brand new world to you, tho. A world where your logic is permanently kicked to a side, and you can constantly think, feel and say everything and the opposite of everything, without lying.
What gets me most when it comes to people, my biggest weak side, is definitely the eyes, the glances, and some particular kind of smiles. If a person shows that kind of expression to me, is almost automatically wonderful in my eyes.
Beautiful eyes that never have an “empty” glance, are always present and expressive, burning of the strenght of the person who will defend what they believe in, sustained by a shield of brilliant creative intelligence, but also weak of all the strongest sensibility a human being can feel and somewhat accept to have, joyful like the eyes of a kid, and tender of all the care one person can try to have for their friends. Eyes that “speak” a lot, and never shut up. Some professionals might argue with me that everyone has expressive eyes, because that’s the most uncontrolled side of our face. Well no, it’s not true, some eyes don’t tell your whole inner story. They belong to people who hide and distance themselves from other people, or simply don’t “feel” as much as the eyes I’m talking about.
I feel awkward when glances are distant. I hate it when eyes don’t talk to me, don’t make me feel like the person is really THERE and they see, not only look. I always wish I had a magic wand that “summons” the inner side of people so that they could show me their face, and not their mask. Masks are uncomfortable, and hurtful if they’re worn beside a person you care about.
Pair that kind of eyes with… a particular smile. Kids’ smile, not controlled, maybe a bit shy, not fake, a smile that expresses an immense amount of joy, it can make a person shine like nobody else does.
I have crooked and ugly yellow teeth, I almost never smile in front of cameras, but I try to smile every time I feel good. Being adult and smart doesn’t require you to be always angry and grumpy anyway, even if it might happen a lot more if you see the ugliest parts of life.
There is nothing, *nothing* more heart warming than a person who smiles AT you, FOR you, BECAUSE OF you. The biggest essence of love, when it’s sincere, and you can tell it if you’re trained enough.
I’m a weird person, and I usually HATE when people love me too much. I feel it like a burden, or like a form of insanity from the other side. The only times when I’m really GLAD someone loves me is when it shows through their smile.
Not a lusty smile, not an arrogant smile, not a fake smile, just happiness, the purest form of it. It’s so contagious and sweet it melts even my most cynical sides.
The sad part is, that looks so easy to find then.
And it’s not, absolutely, definitely not. Finding those two forms of positive communication on the same face is as rare as a 4 leaf clover in a field of grass.
Wich is good because, hey. I don’t want my cynical side to be melted! XD
Even if, frankly, it feels… wonderful.